What Determines a Good Mother?

I'm not sure I was a good mother when my girls were growing up. For the first several years I had problems with an almost constant feeling of irritability and impatience. I yelled at my girls even when they probably weren't doing anything bad. I hated the way I felt. When the girls were about 8 and 10 (I think) I discovered B Complex, thanks to my sister. It contains all of the B vitamins, which nourish the nervous system. After about a week, I was a different person. Before that, I was irritable and mean all the time. I have wondered much about this rapid change but, after studying a few things, I decided that my body just didn't seem to absorb the B vitamins from the food I ate. I most certainly had a deficiency. Also, although this may have nothing to do with it, I had a reaction to the "saddle block" anesthesia I was given when my first child was born. My neck became extremely painful and stiff. I had a terrible headache and had to lie on my back for a couple of days in the hospital. My back hurt from the labor (I guess) and it hurt to lie on my back. I was on muscle relaxants for a couple of weeks and nursing my baby at the same time. Who knows what effect any of this had on my nervous system, or on the baby.

I still take B Complex (which contains numerous forms of vitamins) every day. I can tell within a few hours if I forgot to take it. I get irritable and grumpy. I have made my girls promise to make sure I get my daily B Complex if I have to be in a nursing home.

Other reasons I wonder if I was a good mother: I was never the hugger, smoochy, on my lap kind of mother and I regret that. I don't remember my Mom doing that but I never once thought she didn't love me. I never let my kids have what they whined or cried for. I didn't praise them for every little thing they did right. My girls were part of the family, not the center of it. I didn't do a good job of teaching them to be homemakers (hard when you're not good at it yourself). But I did encourage them to draw, read, write, and use their imagination, to look down when walking across the prairie, to see the bugs, flowers, and weeds.

One of my favorite quotes is when someone asked the elder President Bush (after he had been the head of the CIA, vice president, and president): What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? He answered: "My children still come to visit me." That is my greatest accomplishment. My children still call me and visit me and show me respect I'm very proud of my daughters.