Thursday, April 30, 2009

THINGS WE SAY TO OUR KIDS

1. I don't like your choice of friends.
2. It's not that I don't trust YOU...I don't trust OTHERS!
3. Were you born in a barn?
4. Because I said so!
5. Don't make me stop this car!
6. You're grounded for life!
7. Someday, when you're older, you'll understand!
8. One day you'll come home and I won't be here!
9. You'd better watch the tone of your voice, young lady (man)!
10.Over my dead body!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

40 Random Things You Didn't Want to Know About Me

1. My uncle once: told me that if God wanted salt on a cantaloupe, he would have put it there.
2. Never in my life: Been on a moving plane
3. When I was five: I gave a sick kitten a bath and it died.
4. High School was: fun.
5. I will never forget: one special horseback ride.
6. I once met: Marty Robbins
7. There’s this girl I know who: could clean up for a date in five minutes.
8. Once, at a bar: we hung out because it was the only place in town with food.
9. By noon, I'm usually: awake.
10. Who knows what #10 is?
11. If only I had: an adobe house
12. Next time I go to church: I'll do the count.
13. Terry Schiavo: was murdered.
14. What worries me most: my children's futures
15. When I turn my head left, I see: a bulletin board.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: books, books and more books.
17. You know I’m lying when: I say something :)
18. What I miss most about the eighties: my age.
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: a clown or something.
20. By this time next year: I will probably be doing the same old thing.
21. A better name for me would be: Perfecto.
22. I have a hard time understanding: how we are depleting air waves.
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: study art or writing.
24. You know I like you if: I tease you sometimes.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: the person who did the work for me.
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: crazy man, genius man, good ol' boy, and crybaby feminist.
27. Take my advice, never: vacuum your cat.
28. My ideal breakfast is: pancakes, eggs over easy, and bacon.
29. A song I love, but do not own is: Swing Low Sweet Chariot.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Old Mission Deli
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: beautiful, normal, weird, and fast.
32. Why won’t people: learn to obey the laws.
33. If you spend the night at my house: bring an allergy pill (cats)
34. I’d stop my wedding for: too late.
35. The world could do without: pants with crotch dragging between knees.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be buried alive.
37. My favorite blond is: not.
38: Paper clips are more useful than: thong underwear.
39. If I do anything well, it’s: taking a nap.
40. And by the way: this is sort of dumb.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Byways and the Highways

"I'm so tired...all my family and friends are gone and I'm all alone, I'm tired of being in constant pain. All I want to do is die and have some peace."

This statement can be heard in some variation any day at any nursing home in this country. Approximately 8% (my guess) of those over 65 years old are living in some type of institution, nursing home or health care center. For the majority of these people it will be their last address on this earth. Death and dying is a definite part of their daily existence; however, many welcome death as a release from the suffering and loneliness they are experiencing. Many believe that they deserve to go to Heaven because they are suffering, or simply because they are old. The thinking often is that "surely God wouldn't let me go to hell after all I've been through." There are those who have never heard the Gospel even though they have lived in this "Christian" nation for 80 years; there are those who have heard the Gospel most of their lives and have hardened their hearts; those who base their salvation on church membership, baptism, living a good life, even on being a member of a service club or secret society. They have all the same excuses any other segment of the populaation have, however, many have developed impairments which could hinder their ability to comprehend. Many have waited too long, many will not have that peace that they believe will come with dying.